So I am going to.
Who am I?
I had a great time with Ben tonight! He is a really neat person, and spiritually we have a lot in common. We share a lot of the same interests as well.
I met a few of his Vineyard friends tonight at dinner that I didn't meet at group last week, and they were really cool too. The wierd thing is, I actually feel like I fit with these people. It's the strangest thing. I usually feel like I don't fit when I am in groups, like no matter what I say, it's going to be obvious that I am not cool enough to be hanging out with the group I'm around. That did not happen tonight at all. I didn't feel out of place in my own skin. I didn't feel like I was a total dork. I didn't really care what anybody thought. I was actually carefree for once. I was able to be myself.
At one point, I closed my eyes, thinking that when I opened them I would be lying in bed, waking from a dream. I tried to think, "Surely this isn't my life," but I didn't feel that way like I usually do. When I opened my eyes, I was sitting in front of hot green tea and Philadelphia Rolls. I thought to myself, "This fits for some odd reason. Do I...? Yes, I think I may actually like this guy." I'm not saying that he is "the one" or whatever, so don't get all crazy. I'm just saying it's not completely janked. Which is a totally new experience for me.
I am so glad I am giving Ben a chance. I'm giving myself a chance too. Thank you, Jesus, for letting me meet him. No matter where our relationship leads, I want to thank you for letting me meet him. Even if we just end up friends, I praise you for it.
God is so cool, because he is actively involved the lives of his people! He is not a "sit on the sidelines" kind of god; he brings his A - Game!
And thanks for verbally kicking by butt, Judy.