Thursday, June 9

Both the prodigal and the brother

In the story of “The Prodigal Son” I see my own reflection: in both the prodigal and the more committed son. I used to stomp my feet with God all the time asking and lamenting, “Why me, God?” 

Then, one day my soul and spirit opened up and blossomed and I realized that I was so focused on the wrong side of the point. If God loves us and gives his whole kingdom as in the story where the father says “All that is mine is yours," and I work hard for years and do not recognize nor accept that freely given advantage, and I choose to throw a fit with God when troubles come... Is that really God’s fault? It seems more like it's my own fault for not taking the advantageous role of precious daughter in his eyes. It is my choice to avoid the gifts freely given to me. 

When my prodigal brother comes back and I am lost in jealousy and angry to the core saying, “Daddy, why didn’t you honor me for all the times I stayed with you?” He’s in loving awe, looking at me, saying, “All I have is yours, my dear.” 

All he has is mine. Why did I tuck it away and hide it all those years as I preached his word? All the while, I did not become love and I was selling a product in which I did not really believe. 

How sad. 

Why did I do that? Because I did not trust in his love for me. He loved me, but did I really love him?

Then I look at things from the side of the prodigal and I see myself there too. I ran from love, ran from truth, ran from my God for so long because I was lost and dirty and I had squandered my inheritance. Then, I ran home to him apologetically, confessing I messed up, and he put a crown my head, gave me a beautiful dress and told me he loved me and always would. He threw one heck of a prty in my honor.

He kissed my cheek, picked me up, and welcomed me home.