Friday, September 30

Mountains = breathtaking

We went up into the mountains today for a very beautiful hike. We went to Panoramic Point where you can see the entire stretch of Rocky Mountains. It made me feel small. Doing things like that remind me that I am but a speck on this earth. And yet God cares about me.

Who knew?

We have been having some great times in worship and really trying to break through our own insecurities and walls. I have found myself being complacent today for some reason. I think it is partly because I am tired. Exhausted actually. We did some crazy manual labor yesterday.

Yesterday we were all on a spiritual high and accomplishment high. We went and worked for a state park clearing dead trees. We were sometimes carrying trees that required four or five of us. It was cool! They were maybe 4-18 inches around and anywhere from 6-8 feet long. We had fun and everyone encouraged each other.

I am probably the most out of shape person in the DTS, and yet I don't feel that way. Everyone is really encouraging to me when we go on hikes or walks. They really help me push myself, let not getting frustrated when I have to stop because I am hitting my limit. I can really see how God put us all together. It's amazing.

My small group is cool. Four students and a staff leader. I can see why God put us all together. We all have had recent breakups that were sucky. One girl is in a relationship right now that God is telling her to leave, and it's fantastic how the rest of us have been able to encourage her through this time and pray for her too.

We are going to Estes Park tomorrow to go hiking and hang out in the town. It is a kind of artsy mountain town I have heard with art stores, shops and a great coffee shop.

No coffee for me though. I am fasting caffeine while I am here. Although I did accidentally drink the caffeinated tea the other day rather than decaf. I had to laugh at myself. It's funny when I do things like that.

Anyway, God is teaching me a lot through the people here. We all serve each other and are so encouraging. It's just confirmation that I am where God wants me to be and the finances and spiritual revelation will come.

Blessed be the name of the Lord. Holla!

(o:

Tuesday, September 27

Altitude sickness? What's that?

So, this being up in the mountains thing isn't as easy as I thought. I was totally sick the first night here and I went to bed at 8:30!! It was horrible. I felt queasy, but I couldn't just throw up. I had the worst headache ever, and I would get really dizzy if I walked anywhere, especially up stairs.

Today I feel better, praise God, but it is still hard to breathe. I just want to be able to breathe again! It's really frustrating actually. However, I am determined to stick it out. I have heard that altitude sickness is really common, but I had not heard of it until the week before I left. Most people feel better in a week or so.

Ugh.

I have met some amazing people here. There is a couple from Australia that sold their house, cars and IT business just to come here and see what God had for them. They are now my personal heroes. Who does that?! How amazing. I was totally excited to talk to them. It's really funny because I have a whole new list of vocab words after hanging with them for a day and a half.

I really wanted a foreign student to be in my room, and a girl named Ji Sun is my roommate. She is from South Korea and very funny. God has been helping me to reach out to her and help her with her English. (I taught her what janked means. Haha!)

I really think that there is something amazing here for me and that is why it has been so hard. I have been so homesick today due to feeling badly, but I think that it will get better after my body adjusts.

Please keep me in your prayers, as I need physical strength right now to make it.

Also, I have $2195 left to pay on my tuition which is due in three weeks. As well, half of my outreach fee is due.

I found out that I can either go to South Africa (Yes!) for $3200 or to Mexico (Cool too.) for $1200.

I need a miracle, kids.

I love you all! I miss Ohio terribly, but luckily there are lots of people here from Ohio to chat with. Buckeyes have a special bond.

Monday, September 26

We made it!!

We're in one piece and safely in Denver, which totally rocks! This place is beautiful! I am already feeling the altitude difference, so I wonder hwta it will be like when I am 8,500 feet in the air on a mountain.

Many things have happened in my emotions lately. I am scared to death in a lot of ways, but also peaceful about a lot. I am really nervous about meeting new people. (I know. Shock.) But I really am excited too. There will be people from other cultures here which is exciting to me.

I met a girl from England today. She is really cool, but sadly only here for another four days. She will be gone when I come down for laundry time this weekend. She's from London and totally funny. She made fun of my accent! I have an accent?! Haha.

Anyway, many funny stories are to come I am sure. I will be updating so you guys who have supported me can see what your money is going for. Haha!!

Keep praying for me!! It has helped me keep my sanity these past few days!!

Friday, September 23

Thursday, September 22

I am leaving tomorrow!

I can't believe it! Three months in the mountains and two months in another country await me. Wow.

I had lunch today with Rene, Angel, Laura and Dave from the tv station where I used to work. (Hey guys!) I managed not to cry when leaving which was good because I didn't want it to be "goodbye," just "see you later." I really loved the people at that job. It was amazing that I was able to keep some of those relationships this past year and a half.

I am so excited to go to Denver, but I am also thinking right now about leaving my favorite people behind. Not just the old WSFJ crew, but Jason & Sarah, SJ & John, Jeanna, The Vallangoens, The Seymours, The Fox crew, The Schilgs, Fritz & Christina, Brandy & Aaron, The Booths, Kana & Map, Izzy, The Boulis crew, Privette, Jilly Bean, Amy and Jaq and the teen crew... Heck! Everyone.

I'll miss you all! Okay, I'm getting a little emotional again. And I really don't want to ruin my makeup.

Monday, September 19

How great is our God

Yeah, it's been a crazy road these past few months. I am so excited though for what is going to happen that I can't even think of anything else save the fact that God worked things out for me.

Yesterday morning, the main pastor at my church was away speaking at a revival. I didn't think this was going to happen because he was gone, but I really hoped that the leaders of my church would gather around me and pray for me.

Pastor Tom was speaking and he called me up for everyone to pray over me. I started crying so hard, praising God for allowing it. I really didn't think it would happen. God started speaking to people's hearts, cause in like 10 minutes, I had half of the finances I needed to go.

And God is so great, because lots of people asked for my brochure because they wanted to support me in what I was doing. Everyone just kept hugging me and telling me that they were hoping everything worked out for me. They would be praying for me. They loved me.

And I know it was them, but at the same time it wasn't - because God was telling me that through them. I felt that he was pleased with me. I know that he loves me and is happy with me. Because I am trusting him, I know that we are going to become closer and closer as time goes on.

And that excites me!!

Saturday, September 17

The Mile High City

Denver... I got in! I was accepted! Woot!

I am going to Denver! Next Friday Becca and I leave. It's going to be wierd, and I will miss you my sweet Ohio. But the mountains call!

I can't believe I am going to spend the next three months in Colorado! Oh my goodness.

God just really rocks my face off!

Thank you, God for working this all out for me. Thank you! Thank you!

Tuesday, September 13

PS

My mom is in the hospital again with fluid on her lungs and heart. Please pray if that's your thing.

And God moved... again...

It's so funny because I felt the need to go and pray for the junior high service tonight. I got there early. I prayed for Fritz to be able to say what God wanted him to say. I prayed for God to touch the hearts of those teens and help them focus on him in major ways. And at least one did, because at the end of the service, she came up to Fritz and Mindy crying. She said that what Fritz said in his teaching had gotten to her. And we all gathered around her and prayed. And she asked God to help her out.

And I have come to believe that God is going to do great things at Highpoint this school year, unlike anything that church has ever seen.

I went to go see my friend Brandy because she had a rough day the other day and I wanted her to know that someone cares. I'm not sure how much good I did. I think I made her nervous or something actually, but I prayed for her as I left. I wished I would have felt the need to pray for her at her house before I left but I did not feel led to do so.

Anyway, her hubby came home right before I left and said that Fritz was in the sanctuary at church talking to all of the girl's friends (the girl that came up to him after the service) and praying with them. What an amazing thing to happen.

I love it when you move in the hearts of people, God. Thank you for letting me see it.

Monday, September 12

Officially Rejected

YWAM Seattle called me and told me that they were officialy out of spots and therefore rejecting my application. It's so funny how God works. When they called, I had first thought they were calling to say, "Just kidding about that wait list thing! God was just testing your faith! C'mon over to Seattle!" Alas, my sweet Seattle! When will I see you again?

But it's okay. I paid my application fee to Denver today. Frankly, if they reject me, I am going to laugh! I am praying about just going to Denver with Becca anyway if I don't get in and at least visiting the base. Just to check things out. And check the city out! I can probably stay with Becca for a couple of weeks, allowing time for me to buy a discounted plane ticket. I think a trip to Denver would be so much fun!! My friend Ryan is going to be in Denver that week on a layover, and I haven't seen him since New Year. His job transfered him to Switzerland. But, we'll see what God leads me to do.

I have the chance to work at the school again, watching kids this time, but with all of the crazy stuff I have to do packing - wise, I just don't see how I can do it. I am packing up everything this week as if I am going to Denver. I mean, I should do that just in case.

If I happen not to go, I will probably still move. I am not sure what Jack & Angel think about me staying here for another season. I don't know what I'll do about a place to live, but I have to trust that God will work it out for me. He's not let me down yet.

Sunday, September 11

Fresh newness

Amazingly, God is rocking my face off! I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about being delayed on the whole YWAM thing, but I have asked for God to guide me and he definitely has!

So much happened today and I cannot even believe to tell you about how cool God is. I asked him to speak to me and he did. I really needed him to touch my life because I am so sick of spiritual complacency. I told God yesterday that I needed him to speak to me today and move me in the service. I had no idea what I needed, but I knew that God would meet my need. I knew that he would remind me that he has not forgotten me.

God used me to reach out to people in ways I have not experienced in a long time. It was amazing! I can say nothing but that. And I know that God moved me tonight. I ended up calling out prayers I didn't even know were in me. I prayed for teenagers I didn't even know. I prayed for myself. My church. My pastors. My teen friends.

God bless that youth group.

Some stuff happened today that could have embittered me and made me all Eyeore. But I ain't getting down like that anymore. I have had enough. I need a real genuine faith and relationship with Christ. I am sick of letting crap like church politics get in my way.

Satan:
You aren't getting the best of me. I'm saving that for Jesus.



Saturday, September 10

I can't let go

I am not ready to give up the idea that I am supposed to go to YWAM. I just keep hoping that one of the two bases will call me and say that I'm in.

It just makes so much sense for me to do a DTS. And it seems to be the right time.

Still waiting on the Lord to say when.

Thursday, September 8

Good news!

I made the last payment on my car payment today! No more Hyundai Motor Finance, and it feels like I'm ending a marraige or something. I mean, five years? That's a long commitment. Especially for me. God has done some amazing things in my life lately!

I am so excited to see what happens with YWAM. I am checking out maybe going to another base. Since I already have a ride to Denver with Becca, I think I will try there. What's the worst that could happen? God shuts the door? I am out another $50? Screw it. It's not my money anyway. I have never had the interest in going to the Denver base, but I think that God may just be opening a door there.

We'll see what happens.

Please keep me in your prayers!

Wednesday, September 7

Dear God,

I need your help. You know that YWAM called me today and told me they put me on a wait list. Is that what you want for me? Not to go to Seattle? I mean, seriously, I was so sure this is what you wanted for me. What is going on here? What do you want me to do?

I could go to the Denver base because I am going to be there anyway. It's too late for the other bases I wanted. Lausanne I can't get to because of my passport issues. Vegas's base is already filled for their fall DTS. January maybe?

Am I not supposed to go to YWAM at all?

That wouldn't make sense at all. I mean, everything in my life has lead up to this. It seemed you had been working overtime to help me reconcile myself to doing this. God, I was so sure this is what you wanted.

Now I am afraid it might not be. Oh, God, help me! What do I do?

Please!

Did I hear you correctly? Did I misunderstand you? I mean look at my life over the past year: I said I was going to bible college, I told every one I was getting married, and then I told everyone I was doing a DTS. The first two painfully and unregrettably did not work out. I'm cool with those two. But this? I'll feel like a fool again if this DTS thing goes wrong. But at least I am a fool for you! Haha!

I just don't understand why this is happening, but I will stick to the truth that "all things work out for good to those that love God." And, man, I love you! I am really apprehensive about what the point of life is right now, but I love you. I am afraid that I just can't seem to hear correctly from you, but I love you. I am completely going to trust you in this. And it pains me to say it, but, no matter the outcome... I will trust you.

Please help this all to work out the way that you want it. Help me, Lord. Help me to lay my dreams aside to do what you would ask of me. If getting denied is what it takes for me to grow closer to you, as much as it hurts, I'll do it. I'll put that desire aside for you.

It just didn't seem like that's what you wanted because it took so long for me to reconcile myself to doing a DTS in the first place.

I need to hear from you right now Lord. Speak. Please?


Hoosier Time

I should hear something for sure from YWAM today or tomorrow! I am really excited about it too.

I am in Indiana now awaiting the phone call. I came here with my friend, Gina's Aunt Julie to see Gina and my family before I leave. Crazy, huh? I am so totally super excited to be here, which is so totally super unusual. I really want to hang out with everybody and get to have fun before I leave for Seattle.

I should be back in Ohio sometime this weekend. We're not on a schedule. We're not sure what we are going to do.

The down side: Vida is going to be in Ohio this weekend, and I really want to see her before I leave. However, we may not make it back before then.

Tuesday, September 6

Woot!

I should know for sure in the next two days whether or not I am officially accepted to YWAM Seattle. Whew! I need to get my passport!

Holy crap!!

I am on the phone with YWAM Seattle!!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Friday, September 2

Puppy steak anyone?

Today, I was house sitting for both my friends, Erica & Nathan and Tom & Trish. Erica & Nathan have two dogs: Taylor, a basset hound and Jordan, a Laborador Retriever. Tom & Trish have one dog, Duke, and a neighborhood full of cats! I'll explain later...

So I stayed all night last night at Tom & Trish's after spending a long evening with Taylor and Jordan out of their cages. I figured since I would not be in the same house with them, I'd let them have run of the house before I left. I let them out twice to go potty, so I figured they were good for awhile.

When I woke up this morning, Duke was chillin' on the bed and I let him outside and then took a shower, heading straight over to let Jordan and Taylor out.

I got there and immediately opened the door for Taylor to run outside and go potty. And then i put the leash around Jordan's neck and let her out.

When I looked out into the yard, Taylor had made a run across the street!!! I thought I was going to have a heart attack. She's not my dog! No dead doggies on my shift!

I let Jordan go potty and prayed to God that Taylor wouldn't dart into the street. A man on a bicycle was petting her, so I figured I was safe.

I put Jordan in her cage and then ran across the street to get Taylor. I had to give her food, which I had luckily grabbed post-rescue. She wouldn't come to me right away.

I wanted to kill her! I have watched these dogs before and she has never run across the street like that. Let alone ignored my calling to her.

I took her back to her cage and fed her and Jordan and then turned to leave. I will be back tonight to let them out and run around. I reached for the door, when I saw it...

I pile of poop from the night before. And it was mushy. Not easy to clean up at all! Matter of fact, I think it left a stain on Erica & Nathan's carpet.

Yeah, I wanted to cuss. Ugh.

I looked at Taylor and said, "Who wants to be puppy steak?"