Tuesday, December 14

Short fuse

I am angry and bitter. The pain surfaces so easily these days, when I should be most proud of myself. I recognize this, when most wouldn't in their own lives. But I am horrible at doing something about it.

Tuesday, August 10

Judgement call. Not a judgement.

If you're going to sleep around, that's your choice. But can you please at least be smart enough to use protection and get tested? That's all I'm saying. I'm not judging you from a Christian perspective or a moral one. I am just saying, intellectually, wouldn't you rather not die from a disease like HIV?

Saturday, May 8


I burst out in anger multiple times today. Please don't follow my example, thinking I have the love of Jesus for others in my heart. Cause I don't. Not the way I used to.

Friday, April 9

Facebook | Megan 진주 Perkins

Facebook Megan 진주 Perkins: "My name is Megan. I am a pearl of great price. Matthew 13:46 (New International Reader's Version) 'He found one that was very valuable. So he went away and sold everything he had. And he bought that pearl.'"

Tuesday, March 9

Happy birthday, Dad!

You would have been 66 today.

Tuesday, February 9

Food For Thought

Food For Thought:

"Selfish people might be embarrassed by you. While they're using their time and energy almost exclusively on themselves, they see you giving time to others, and your kindness puts them in a bad light.

Maybe they'll think you're a phony, that you use your altruism to get others indebted to you so they'll then owe you a favor. Or perhaps they'll accuse you, directly or behind your back, of focusing on the needs of others so no one ever focuses on your foibles or your genuine wounds.

All of these are false accusations; yours is a genuine compassion, because you truly have a tender heart. One criticism might be more substantial, though. People might notice when you let things get out of balance and spend so much time responding to others that you neglect your own needs.

Perhaps it's true to some extent that you are more comfortable when the focus is on someone else's needs than when you and your needs are front and center, and this may be a criticism worth paying attention to."

Thursday, February 4

Where do I stand?

3-5You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you're doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God's servant. (2 Timothy 4:3-4, The Message)

3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. (2 Timothy 4:3-4, New King James Version)

3 For the time will come when they will not endure the sound doctrine; but, having itching ears, will heap to themselves teachers after their own lusts;

4 and will turn away their ears from the truth, and turn aside unto fables. (2 Timothy 4:3-4, American Standard Version)

How many thousands of years ago was this written? And yet it still rings true. People listen to what they want to hear. They do what they want to do. I was like this at one point in my life, and it's not something I'm proud of. I want to be teachable, and to pay attention to what the truth is. I'm not into falling in line with what everyone else says. I just want to live and speak the truth. Cause I'm sick of everyone staying in their lies. I don't want to be like that. And I can't worry about them , and what they are doing. I can only handle myself. And what I'm about.

Thursday, January 7

Well, time has gone on for so long...

Where did time go? Where did it go? I see people's profiles on facebook whom I went to high school with who will be eternal members of the sophomore brigade, and they have kids. They are married. They live in Nashville, or New York, or Orlando. Time got away from us, because now those kids are grown up and having kids. I wonder how we stop it. Time. It just keeps going.

Every day I live, I am another day closer to seeing Jesus. For most Christians, this is a peaceful thought. Me? It scares the crap out of me. Death really can get me nervous if I think about it too long. And time just keeps going. Someday, we'll be going to see our kids graduate high school and lighting candles at their wedding.

My dad died at 63. I am 30. If I die at 63, that's 33 years from now. And dang it, that's not enough time! I know my dad was an alcoholic and a smoker and I am neither of those things, but death makes you think. There are so many things I still want to do with my life. I have barely scraped the surface of my potential, and I don't want to die before I get to experience more of the goodness of life.

But it's ultimately up to God how that goes down. I remember very clearly a few years ago, when I publicly told God that I would die for him if my life came to that point. Now? Oh, no. Please don't ask that of me. I am not ready to die. At all. Even if it is for the purpose of God's kingdom. Sorry if that makes me a bad person, but I'd be lying if I said I was ready.

I feel so small right now. Like a little speck. And time just keeps marching. Going on and on.