Sometimes, I am amazed God can get into my heart at all. I am so rebellious sometimes.
At Harp and Bowl tonight, I totally started off the service with a rebellion. I totally didn't want to get into worship. But not after too long, I was totally enthralled. Engrossed in the presence of the lord. And God moved. He changed me tonight. I can't even articulate it, but he did.
At one point in the service, I walked up to Ben and wrapped my arms around his waist. We just stood there for a really long time singing to God and holding each other. With my head on his chest I could feel his heartbeat. I felt it beat faster and faster. And I realized that in the few short weeks that he has known me, his feelings run deep already. I felt God saying to me, "That's how I feel when you let me hold you." It was not audible, but I know that's how God felt at that moment with me. It's like God is totally enraptured with me. He is. And he sent me Ben so I could know the love of my heavenly father. And for other reasons, but you know how it is...
Just chillin'. Takin' it slow. We're not even officially a couple yet.
Please don't say, "We're talking," I think that phrase is so wierd.