Sunday, May 15

I'm exhausted!

Seriously. I so need to sleep. I am really excited about what God is doing in my life. It has been a cool week.

I ended up going to help out my friend with her kids last night instead of hanging out with Ben, which he was fine with. That's a good sign when he can be cool with me putting my priorities in line. My priority in this sitch is to serve God by serving others. I am glad that Ben is an understanding person. It's a sign of maturity, and definitely a mark of his character.

I did hang out with him today. He got to meet the "xsis" crew, so that was cool. I'm not sure how much he felt like he fit in though, but that's okay. I am just glad he got to meet them.

I told my mom that I met this really cool guy, and pretty much all she had to say was maybe he would bring me to my senses about going to Seattle. It of course does make me feel badly because I just want her to accept me. Still. Even though I have never felt that from my mother at all, I still want it. I still want her to like me for who I am. Sometimes I hate myself for caring so much what she thinks. Why does it matter? I serve the living God, not some woman, whether she is my mother or not. You know? I just want her to like me. I want her to be proud of me for what I'm doing with my life.

Little does she know that Ben encourages the idea of me going to my DTS, despite what our friendship may bloom into. He's earned points in that category as well. We have so much in common that it's scary.

I have to admit that part of me is scared that once he finds out what I came from, he may want to tag out. Part of me thinks that he'll run when he finds out what my parents are like. But he has Christ, who loves truly unconditionally, to guide him through the process of hearing about my parents. And if the time comes... uh... meeting them.

Okay, I have to go to bed now. I'm officially emotionally overwhelmed.

1 comment:

sarah said...

i will pray for your mom to come to her senses about how awesome her daughter is. and as far as ben goes that is great. i can't wait to meet him myself on Friday..

loven ya, sarah