That's what I am feeling right now. Out of whack. I need to seek some answers from the Lord and wait patiently upon them. The waiting patiently part sucks, because I hate not knowing where things stand. I dislike grey areas. Not fun. I just want to chill and get some rest time in.
I am feeling a little sad still, but going to Matt & Kiana's wedding was fun. I was so glad to be there and celebrate with them. I had a great time with Erica, dancing the afternoon away. I made up many dances to songs. It's just fun to get out and have a good time sometimes. I made the decision this morning that I was going to have a good time at the wedding. I wasn't going to let anything get in my way. I asked God to help me have a good time and really enjoy things. He answered my prayer, too, cause I did. I even had the honor of praying with Kiana right before she and Matt left for their first night together. It was so cool! Erica was there too and prayed as well. I love getting the chance to pray for people. You know, helping out or blessing someone else really helps me be blessed instead of feeling all janked.
I am going to make it through this time because the Lord is my deliverer! I know he hears my prayers. I know he knows the heaviness of my heart right now and he knows how much I am aching on the inside. He knows how much I need him and he will help me to know what I am supposed to do from here.
God, seal the aforementioned paragraph in Jesus' name! Let it come to pass. Guide in me in what I am supposed to do from here. Lord, tell me what I am supposed to do! Speak clearly, Lord. I need a word from you right now. I need to know where to go from here. Please Lord! Help me to know for sure. I'm desperate here. I beg you to hear my prayers!!