Sunday, April 24

Le chemin à l'enfer est pavé avec de bonnes intentions

When my mom was in town last week, she accused me of not caring for her. I thought I would call to check up on her yesterday. I wondered how she was doing after our upheaval last week and I wanted to talk to her more often, hoping that by doing that it would help erase some of the worries she has in her head.

She was super depressed, saying that her "nerves were bothering [her]". She said she was going to check herself into a mental hospital, because she cannot continue being sad and crying. She said she'd been sick all week and feeling like killing someone. Then she told me that she had to go into the hospital or she would end up killing herself, and she added that she might do that anyway.

Who says that to her child? Seriously. My mom is so opressed. Satan is really trying to get the best of her, and I am helpless other than praying for her. There is nothing more I can do. She has to make these decisions for herself to let go of the past and deal with her illnesses. Alas, like many, she is more afraid of what could happen if she lets go than of living in constant darkness, continuing in her current state.

For all this, I am sad.

However, I have to do what God is calling me to do and I cannot be responsibile for her decisions. I can no longer be bound by her anger, bitterness, shame and guilt; as well, I can no longer let her abuse me.

If you're the praying kind, please pray for my mother. Pray for her to realize and take her chance at freedom. Pray for me, that I may deal with this situation whatever the outcome.

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