Don't I know it? Nothing is perfect. Even me.
Isn't it funny how a person can say something to you that is totally the truth, but it so frustrating that the phrase was said that you just clam up?
I clammed up on Ben tonight. Not angry with him, just frustrated about the sitch. He said some things that just made me realize this relationship is going to take a lot of work. Duh, I should have known that, but instead I was taken aback by the idea of being imperfect. Who knew?
I just have a few things, okay quite a few things, that I have never wanted to compromise on when it came to a relationship. For instance, I want my mate to follow Christ, I don't want to keep alcohol in my house when I get married and I totally want my mate to be into adoption. Now, the aforementioned issues are all things Ben and I are in agreement with.
As a matter of fact, I have wondered if he and I were seperated at birth because we have so much in common.
Tonight, we found something we are not in agreement about. It was hard to swallow, especially when Ben busted me out by saying that fear is not a spirit from God. I mean, he's right, but I still have to let God do some work in me to get through this.
I really pray that God changes my heart or his about this issue because it has been a fear that I have dealt with over the past few years. And I think it may be time for me to compromise on something, instead of stomping my feet and demanding my way. I have gotten my way (by being in agreement with Ben on a lot) in so much over the past few weeks that it has been easy to forget that we are not the same person. (Hello, Megan? Wake up!)
Seriously, be careful what you pray for. I prayed for a man that would stand up to me when I was being unresonable! I prayed for someone of truth. I wouldn't have things any other way than truthful and honest, but it's still kind of funny to think that God answered my prayer about that character trait.
My feelings for him haven't changed though, which is good. Man, I am smitten. I am in deep smit!