Thursday, June 16

Deep, huh?

It has been a long time since I really got deep on here. So much is going on in my life with God right now, and I really want to get it all down on my blog.

But no. I'm sleepy. So not right now.

Tonight, Ben told me that every day he is around me, he wants to marry me more and more.

Yep. We've talked about that. I totally know now that he's the person I want to live out the rest of my days on earth with. I want to spend every day knowing Christ more and more, and I want Ben by my side through that process. I want God to use me in Ben's life. I want to support him and help him know Christ in new, exciting ways.

And I know it's soon. I know the relationship is young, but it's not like we're getting married tomorrow. It's just... Why delay the inevitable? What's the point? Why put off talking about something just because you're scared what people might think?

Who cares what people think?! I'm so sick of living my life under that covering of fear, as if I need everybody's approval for every single thing I do. Not anymore. I'm free. I have accepted God's healing for that area of my life and I am ready to start living it. I'm over the trap of living my life by what everyone else thinks or my perceptions of what everyone else thinks.

Hmmm... Maybe I did have time to get deep in here afterall...

1 comment:

Meg said...

What in the sam hill was I thinking?

Satan comes as an angel of light.

It was not the right time for me to be sweating getting married.

Not that Ben was Satan. I just mean that I took the thing with Ben too far, too fast. And Satan was enticing me to stay and not go do a DTS.

And the Devil came and was around us, pushing us to take things farther than God wanted them to go.

It was definitely not God's intention for us to get married.

I'm so thankful for his voice. GOd totally spoke to me that Ben and I were over.

And I obeyed.