Who is this Jesus?

You know, it seems I can never learn enough about Jesus. I am convinced that no matter how old I get, I will continue to learn more and more about who Jesus is. And that excites me. That engulfs me. That consumes me. Getting to know Jesus.

It seems so vast a concept. Jesus. The son of God.

I am reading a book right now called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. (Thank you, Joe, for letting me borrow it!) This book is a freshness on Jesus and who he is that I have not thought about before. I mean, in some ways I have. I guess that's not completely accurate. I haven't thought about Jesus in these parameters before; a land where there are no parameters.

So many of my friends grew up in Christian homes. A few of my friends are daughters or sons of pastors or missionaries. And I have heard some of these friends say that they know all they will ever know about Christ. Jesus.

I believe that they may believe that, but I don't believe that as truth. I am convinced that there is no way that we will stop learning of the vastness of Jesus' character.

He is monumentally huge. So huge. Big. Colossal. Gargantuan. Enormous.

Enough of my thesaurus skills. It may make me seem pompous when I do that, but it is really my attempt at being poetic.

I have this sinking feeling that all of these years people have been selling Jesus. And I think that's the problem. Jesus didn't go around selling himself. He spoke truth, and everything else fell into place. He loved unlike anyone else in history.

I want to be like that. So badly.

I am painfully aware that I am nowhere close to loving people that much. I am still so self centered. Self indulgent. Self aware. At times self conscious.

But I am making strides. I notice that I don't react to things like I did before. I am much more peaceful now and that is pretty amazing to me. I don't even know when it happened. It just happened. I just woke up one day, and when I was exposed to things that would have cracked me before, I didn't react by cracking.

Odd. Who is this Jesus that can change me for the good without me having to really do anything? I just listened to what he had to say so to speak.

I have this sinking feeling we have no idea who this Jesus is.