Friday, November 3

To my parents...

I am off to see them now. I'm nervous. Less excited. More nervous. It's always easier to pretend that they are great and everything's fine. But it's not. And things aren't okay. I'm not okay. I am dealing with a lot of stuff here. And I haven't fully conceded yet. I am working up to it. My dad has started drinking again and I have no idea what I am walking into here. And again, I am facing it alone. I mean, yeah, God's there. It's just hard. I don't know what I am doing anymore. I don't know anything anymore. Who am I kidding? I am just a scared little girl trying to make it in the world without self-destructing. I think we are all scared little kids trying not to freak out and self-destruct. Such is life, I guess. Off to Starbux. Then parents. Lots of crying, I am sure. Driving to Nashville. Hanging with Lindsey. Tomorrow night I get to see Erin!! And I could not be more excited about it. As a double bonus, I get to see Abbie, my other friend from DTS. They live together. I am stupid excited about seeing them. I need to see them right now. This is going to be good. I am okay. I am going to be fine. I have Corinne Bailey Rae to serenade me down highway 41. Everything will be fine. I just need to remember to breathe.

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