Saturday, November 11

I sigh and I take a deep breath.

I hate feeling like this. But it's the way it is as of late. I don't feel as badly as I did last week, thank God, but I am feeling kind of sad. And with good reason. Yesterday I found out that my friend's mom, Julie, who I was really close to the first few years I lived in Columbus has suffered a heart attack and is in the hospital in Florida. My friend, who has few friends and less family here was pretty upset and feeling lost trying to get a flight and stuff down to Florida where his mom is. I ended up going to his house yesterday, helping him pack and taking him to the airport to fly out all within an hour and a half. It was crazy awesome. But sad because I know that his mom is going to have a rough time getting back up to par as she recovers from all of this. While I was driving to my friend's house I called my mom to tell her that Julie was in the hospital and she called me back a few minutes later saying that she heard from my dad's lung doctor. My dad went in for a biopsy on his lung a few days ago and it turns out that he in fact does have lung cancer and it's so bad that the doctor says not to worry about treatment because it would just make my dad feel sick for no reason. The cancer has spread really fast through his lungs. And the doctor says he only has a few months to live. He said maybe six. Maybe a year. But he's dying. And that really sucks. Really badly sucks. It hurts, in fact. I love my dad so much. Despite everything. And I just want to be able to have a relationship with him but this stupid illness keeps getting in the way. But I am trying to be thankful because at least I took time with my parents at all this summer. At least I have those memories. That's something I think. But it still sucks. So if any of you are wondering what's going on with me, that's it. That on top of everything else. And I still don't know how Julie is doing. Yesterday was a wierd day. I just feel like I can't get a break sometimes, but... I guess maybe I should stop expecting one. Life is hard. And that's the way it is. Remember to breathe, Meg.

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