Combien de temps?

I wait, oh God.
I am stripped of it all.
Yet I am consumed by its lustre.
Consumed by its decadence.
Get me out of here.
I could become intoxicated.
I'm out of excuses.
I'm out of money.
I'm out of losses to count.
They are no more.
Where is the magnanimous?
I cannot see it coming.
Blind faith.
A repetitive term.
Faith: belief in something.
Without logical proof.
Without material evidence.
Logic leads me away from you.
When I try to apply logic here.
In this situation.
So much is on my heart.
I am burdened.
I try not to think about it.
Because it makes me cry.
The burden of love for a people.
The burden of grace to freely bestow.
On the people.
God's people.
Even though they aren't choosing him.
They are still his people.
He wants them to be his children.
And I am ready to be sent.
A+B=C
It doesn't apply here.
I see what I could be doing.
I see what my heart yearns to do.
How do the two fit?
How do I get from here to there?
How long must I wait?
How long?
Combien de temps?