So, a lot of stuff has been going on here. God has been working overtime on me trying to get me to face the truth about some stuff and truth about myself. I'm in the mountains. What else am I going to do? My cell phone doesn't work out here. Our internet barely works out here. What else is there to do? Chillax and let God do his thing. (I have learned so much about what being "in Christ" really means. If we all really understood that phrase, the Devil wouldn't have such a stronghold of guilt on our lives. I have copies of the scripture study if anyone wants to read it.)
I have had a rough time being shushed lately. It's funny, though, because I am just trying to tell people that it really hurts me. They shush me, but I never tell them to lighten up. And anyone who knows me knows I'm not loud all of the time. Yes, I have my moments. Doesn't everyone? How did I get labeled "the loud girl"? Hmmm. But seriously, like Satan can get off my case in Jesus' name because I am not going to let him get the best of me. I just need to communicate what I feel when people do that to me. I really love everyone here and they love me. It's just I don't think that they really understand what is going on in my head when those things happen.
I mean, I'm 26 years old, and I've been told to be something else other than I am for most of it. I am not playing like that anymore. I'm sick of it. Everyone was always telling me to be quiet, be the good little business girl, "play the game", "don't rock the boat..."
You know what? God created me to rock the boat! That's who I am. I was created to speak truth when others are afraid to do so. I was created to shake people up by the prophetic pictures that God gives me. I was created to sing loudly and boldly proclaiming the love of God for all. You know what? I'm not playing around anymore! I have had enough of that fakeness in me. I want it stripped out.
And I believe that God has been answering that prayer in the past few weeks. He's really been exposing the truth of who he thinks I am. It's so awesome! I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin now. I am a lot less afraid than I used to be too. It's pretty funny. DTS makes one feel like he is on top of the world! I feel like I could go anywhere and do anything!
Speaking of which, please pray for me because God is putting a pretty desolate place on my heart to go and do mission work in. It's a pretty rough country, actually, and I am really seeking God about what to do in this. When it comes to missions, all the easy places are taken. But I really want to be obedient. I would get to leave everything behind for like two years and go work with kids and women in a muslim country. Pretty sweet! I am waiting for many confirmations about this. And I know that if I am hearing God correctly, then it will come to pass.
I love getting to just chill out and let God do his thing. Being in Christ is awesome!