Powerful people harass me without cause,
but my heart trembles only at your word.
Psalm 119:161
Monday, April 4
Wednesday, January 12
Pattern
I always hope the pattern will change in someone. I pray that there has been a real, honest shift in the heart, but not everyone wants a healthy change in their life. Not everyone wants healthy communication. Sadly, some would rather hide in their fort they've spent their whole lives building up. And you have to let them. We can't change everyone. We can only change our pattern.
Friday, April 9
Facebook | Megan 진주 Perkins
Facebook Megan 진주 Perkins: "My name is Megan. I am a pearl of great price. Matthew 13:46 (New International Reader's Version) 'He found one that was very valuable. So he went away and sold everything he had. And he bought that pearl.'"
Tuesday, March 9
Monday, June 1
The African people have a desperation for God that few of us in our suburban churches could ever understand. Their hearts are open to whatever God would have for them. Unlike us, that will only do what is in our comfort zone. We should look at pictures like this and be moved toward God. Toward whatever he would have for us. Not just what we think or want, but what God himself would want us to do. Whether that's engaging a stranger in Starbucks or selling all our collectibles and using the money to hop the next plane to to Thailand to preach in the streets. Paul, Stephen, Timothy and all the other disciples of Jesus the Christ only wish they had the modern conveniences we have to use to spread the hope and love of Christ. Can you imagine what Paul could have done if he had YouTube? What a crazy world this is. I want to be more like Jesus. And this photo is a great motivator.
Wednesday, May 13
I found this passage
The Message (MSG)
3-4 When the clouds are full of water, it rains. When the wind blows down a tree, it lies where it falls. Don't sit there watching the wind. Do your own work. Don't stare at the clouds. Get on with your life. 5 Just as you'll never understand the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman, So you'll never understand the mystery at work in all that God does. 6 Go to work in the morning and stick to it until evening without watching the clock. You never know from moment to moment how your work will turn out in the end.
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.
5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb,[a] so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.
6 Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.
I mean, it pretty much says take a risk and a chance and keep it up. You never know what will come from your hard work. Don't wait for things to be perfect, cause you'll never get anything done. Just do what you're supposed to do. I don't know. A lot of things I want to write here, but I'm not going to take the time right now.
Just meditate on it, you know?
3-4 When the clouds are full of water, it rains. When the wind blows down a tree, it lies where it falls. Don't sit there watching the wind. Do your own work. Don't stare at the clouds. Get on with your life. 5 Just as you'll never understand the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman, So you'll never understand the mystery at work in all that God does. 6 Go to work in the morning and stick to it until evening without watching the clock. You never know from moment to moment how your work will turn out in the end.
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.
5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb,[a] so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.
6 Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.
I mean, it pretty much says take a risk and a chance and keep it up. You never know what will come from your hard work. Don't wait for things to be perfect, cause you'll never get anything done. Just do what you're supposed to do. I don't know. A lot of things I want to write here, but I'm not going to take the time right now.
Just meditate on it, you know?
Sunday, August 17
God's Message to me last night.
Isaiah 60; Romans 8:19 (New Living Translation)
Future Glory for Jerusalem
1 “Arise, Jerusalem! Let your light shine for all to see. For the glory of the Lord rises to shine on you. 2 Darkness as black as night covers all the nations of the earth, but the glory of the Lord rises and appears over you. 3 All nations will come to your light; mighty kings will come to see your radiance.
4 “Look and see, for everyone is coming home! Your sons are coming from distant lands; your little daughters will be carried home. 5 Your eyes will shine, and your heart will thrill with joy, for merchants from around the world will come to you. They will bring you the wealth of many lands. 6 Vast caravans of camels will converge on you, the camels of Midian and Ephah. The people of Sheba will bring gold and frankincense and will come worshiping the Lord. 7 The flocks of Kedar will be given to you, and the rams of Nebaioth will be brought for my altars. I will accept their offerings, and I will make my Temple glorious.
8 “And what do I see flying like clouds to Israel, like doves to their nests? 9 They are ships from the ends of the earth, from lands that trust in me, led by the great ships of Tarshish. They are bringing the people of Israel home from far away, carrying their silver and gold. They will honor the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, for he has filled you with splendor.
10 “Foreigners will come to rebuild your towns, and their kings will serve you. For though I have destroyed you in my anger, I will now have mercy on you through my grace. 11 Your gates will stay open around the clock to receive the wealth of many lands. The kings of the world will be led as captives in a victory procession. 12 For the nations that refuse to serve you will be destroyed.
13 “The glory of Lebanon will be yours— the forests of cypress, fir, and pine— to beautify my sanctuary. My Temple will be glorious! 14 The descendants of your tormentors will come and bow before you. Those who despised you will kiss your feet. They will call you the City of the Lord, and Zion of the Holy One of Israel.
15 “Though you were once despised and hated, with no one traveling through you, I will make you beautiful forever, a joy to all generations. 16 Powerful kings and mighty nations will satisfy your every need, as though you were a child nursing at the breast of a queen. You will know at last that I, the Lord, am your Savior and your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Israel.[a] 17 I will exchange your bronze for gold, your iron for silver, your wood for bronze, and your stones for iron. I will make peace your leader and righteousness your ruler. 18 Violence will disappear from your land; the desolation and destruction of war will end. Salvation will surround you like city walls, and praise will be on the lips of all who enter there.
19 “No longer will you need the sun to shine by day, nor the moon to give its light by night, for the Lord your God will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. 20 Your sun will never set; your moon will not go down. For the Lord will be your everlasting light. Your days of mourning will come to an end. 21 All your people will be righteous. They will possess their land forever, for I will plant them there with my own hands in order to bring myself glory. 22 The smallest family will become a thousand people, and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation. At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.”
Romans 8:19
19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.
View commentary related to this passage
Their hopeful prospects under tribulations.
The sufferings of the saints strike no deeper than the things of time, last no longer than the present time, are light afflictions, and but for a moment. How vastly different are the sentence of the word and the sentiment of the world, concerning the sufferings of this present time! Indeed the whole creation seems to wait with earnest expectation for the period when the children of God shall be manifested in the glory prepared for them. There is an impurity, deformity, and infirmity,
which has come upon the creature by the fall of man. There is an enmity of one creature to another. And they are used, or abused rather, by men as instruments of sin. Yet this deplorable state of the creation is in hope. God will deliver it from thus being held in bondage to man's depravity. The miseries of the human race, through their own and each other's wickedness, declare that the world is not always to continue as it is. Our having received the first-fruits of the Spirit, quickens our
desires, encourages our hopes, and raises our expectations. Sin has been, and is, the guilty cause of all the suffering that exists in the creation of God. It has brought on the woes of earth; it has kindled the flames of hell. As to man, not a tear has been shed, not a groan has been uttered, not a pang has been felt, in body or mind, that has not come from sin. This is not all; sin is to be looked at as it affects the glory of God. Of this how fearfully regardless are the bulk of mankind!
Believers have been brought into a state of safety; but their comfort consists rather in hope than in enjoyment. From this hope they cannot be turned by the vain expectation of finding satisfaction in the things of time and sense. We need patience, our way is rough and long; but He that shall come, will come, though he seems to tarry. (Ro 8:26)
Future Glory for Jerusalem
1 “Arise, Jerusalem! Let your light shine for all to see. For the glory of the Lord rises to shine on you. 2 Darkness as black as night covers all the nations of the earth, but the glory of the Lord rises and appears over you. 3 All nations will come to your light; mighty kings will come to see your radiance.
4 “Look and see, for everyone is coming home! Your sons are coming from distant lands; your little daughters will be carried home. 5 Your eyes will shine, and your heart will thrill with joy, for merchants from around the world will come to you. They will bring you the wealth of many lands. 6 Vast caravans of camels will converge on you, the camels of Midian and Ephah. The people of Sheba will bring gold and frankincense and will come worshiping the Lord. 7 The flocks of Kedar will be given to you, and the rams of Nebaioth will be brought for my altars. I will accept their offerings, and I will make my Temple glorious.
8 “And what do I see flying like clouds to Israel, like doves to their nests? 9 They are ships from the ends of the earth, from lands that trust in me, led by the great ships of Tarshish. They are bringing the people of Israel home from far away, carrying their silver and gold. They will honor the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, for he has filled you with splendor.
10 “Foreigners will come to rebuild your towns, and their kings will serve you. For though I have destroyed you in my anger, I will now have mercy on you through my grace. 11 Your gates will stay open around the clock to receive the wealth of many lands. The kings of the world will be led as captives in a victory procession. 12 For the nations that refuse to serve you will be destroyed.
13 “The glory of Lebanon will be yours— the forests of cypress, fir, and pine— to beautify my sanctuary. My Temple will be glorious! 14 The descendants of your tormentors will come and bow before you. Those who despised you will kiss your feet. They will call you the City of the Lord, and Zion of the Holy One of Israel.
15 “Though you were once despised and hated, with no one traveling through you, I will make you beautiful forever, a joy to all generations. 16 Powerful kings and mighty nations will satisfy your every need, as though you were a child nursing at the breast of a queen. You will know at last that I, the Lord, am your Savior and your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Israel.[a] 17 I will exchange your bronze for gold, your iron for silver, your wood for bronze, and your stones for iron. I will make peace your leader and righteousness your ruler. 18 Violence will disappear from your land; the desolation and destruction of war will end. Salvation will surround you like city walls, and praise will be on the lips of all who enter there.
19 “No longer will you need the sun to shine by day, nor the moon to give its light by night, for the Lord your God will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. 20 Your sun will never set; your moon will not go down. For the Lord will be your everlasting light. Your days of mourning will come to an end. 21 All your people will be righteous. They will possess their land forever, for I will plant them there with my own hands in order to bring myself glory. 22 The smallest family will become a thousand people, and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation. At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.”
Romans 8:19
19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.
View commentary related to this passage
Their hopeful prospects under tribulations.
The sufferings of the saints strike no deeper than the things of time, last no longer than the present time, are light afflictions, and but for a moment. How vastly different are the sentence of the word and the sentiment of the world, concerning the sufferings of this present time! Indeed the whole creation seems to wait with earnest expectation for the period when the children of God shall be manifested in the glory prepared for them. There is an impurity, deformity, and infirmity,
which has come upon the creature by the fall of man. There is an enmity of one creature to another. And they are used, or abused rather, by men as instruments of sin. Yet this deplorable state of the creation is in hope. God will deliver it from thus being held in bondage to man's depravity. The miseries of the human race, through their own and each other's wickedness, declare that the world is not always to continue as it is. Our having received the first-fruits of the Spirit, quickens our
desires, encourages our hopes, and raises our expectations. Sin has been, and is, the guilty cause of all the suffering that exists in the creation of God. It has brought on the woes of earth; it has kindled the flames of hell. As to man, not a tear has been shed, not a groan has been uttered, not a pang has been felt, in body or mind, that has not come from sin. This is not all; sin is to be looked at as it affects the glory of God. Of this how fearfully regardless are the bulk of mankind!
Believers have been brought into a state of safety; but their comfort consists rather in hope than in enjoyment. From this hope they cannot be turned by the vain expectation of finding satisfaction in the things of time and sense. We need patience, our way is rough and long; but He that shall come, will come, though he seems to tarry. (Ro 8:26)
Saturday, May 31
Senioritis
I am so sick of school. Really. I love it but I hate it but I love it.
I am just ready to graduate. Seriously, I really want to be doing my thing, making some money for the awesomeness that is me. I am good at this. I know I can be great with more practice. More opportunities present themselves the longer time moves on. And I am really praising God for it all.
It's been really hard working and paying bills and all that while going to school 40 hours a week. I keep getting down to points where I really think I am just going to sink financially. I am sick of the sinking feeling. Over it. Love and grace has brought me this far.
The stress of it all gets to me from time to time and I hate that so much. Sometimes I still feel like I did when I was 20. It feels often like everyone else has it so damn easy while I just struggle to keep afloat. Emotionally and physically.
Luckily I have an amazing man who loves me and reminds me often of my strength and potential.
It'a been almost a year since my dad died, and I still cry when I think of the fact that I didn't call him on his birthday last year. Sometimes I still question if he died knowing how much I loved him and prayed for him. Did he know how much I turned in hate for love? Did he even know how hard that was for me? Did he even know that though he was a ridiculously horrible drunk that used to beat my mom and then come after me, I still wanted his approval?
Daddy, I want to finish school so you can be proud of me. I know it's not college like you wanted, but it's something I love and at which I excel.
Alton Brown will always remind me of you.
I really miss you, Dad.
I am just ready to graduate. Seriously, I really want to be doing my thing, making some money for the awesomeness that is me. I am good at this. I know I can be great with more practice. More opportunities present themselves the longer time moves on. And I am really praising God for it all.
It's been really hard working and paying bills and all that while going to school 40 hours a week. I keep getting down to points where I really think I am just going to sink financially. I am sick of the sinking feeling. Over it. Love and grace has brought me this far.
The stress of it all gets to me from time to time and I hate that so much. Sometimes I still feel like I did when I was 20. It feels often like everyone else has it so damn easy while I just struggle to keep afloat. Emotionally and physically.
Luckily I have an amazing man who loves me and reminds me often of my strength and potential.
It'a been almost a year since my dad died, and I still cry when I think of the fact that I didn't call him on his birthday last year. Sometimes I still question if he died knowing how much I loved him and prayed for him. Did he know how much I turned in hate for love? Did he even know how hard that was for me? Did he even know that though he was a ridiculously horrible drunk that used to beat my mom and then come after me, I still wanted his approval?
Daddy, I want to finish school so you can be proud of me. I know it's not college like you wanted, but it's something I love and at which I excel.
Alton Brown will always remind me of you.
I really miss you, Dad.
Saturday, January 26
Chère solitude,
Je vous déteste. Vous êtes le fléau de mon existence. Vous êtes un menteur, parce que je sais la vérité. Je suis ai aimé. Vous ne me fournissez rien bon, et ainsi je vous banis de ma présence.
Sincèrement,
Mégohm
Sincèrement,
Mégohm
Sunday, July 29
My dad's obituary
In case anyone wants to read it. I think my mom or my aunt wrote it.
http://www.legacy.com/CourierPress/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=91617298
I think it's funny the things we put into obituaries. Do these little accomplishments really matter?
This is so sad. Just when I started building a relationship with my dad, he dies.
I really will miss him.
http://www.legacy.com/CourierPress/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=91617298
I think it's funny the things we put into obituaries. Do these little accomplishments really matter?
This is so sad. Just when I started building a relationship with my dad, he dies.
I really will miss him.
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