3, 2, 1, Freak out

I grabbed an application for my passport yesterday from the post office. Tonight after baby sitting, I decided to work on filling it out while the couple put their children to sleep. There is a place on there for one to put his parents' birthplace and birthdates. I called my mom to double check the information I wrote was correct. I ended up telling her that I was applying to YWAM, and she flipped.

Evidently I am crazy, stupid, following the pushing of someone else or just generally inept at making decisions. It's really sad. My own mother doesn't know me at all. I've followed people before, but I would not be described as a "follower." I may sometimes not do something for fear that I will be talked about, but I don't follow others into their self - destructive decisions. I've got more on my head than what's made by Paul Mitchell. (Thank you, Kendall Payne.)

It kinda hurt when she said she doesn't support my choice and that she doesn't want me to go to another country. She said you go to other countries to get diseases. What the jank is that?!?! She told me I am her whole world. I said something like, "Then you need to get a different hobby. It's too much pressure, Mom. As much as I love you, I cannot fill the void in your life. I never will be able to, because I am not perfect. Only God can fill that."

I know what I have to do. I cannot live my life around other people's expectations. I just have to do what I feel God is leading me to.

Please pray for me; I need the freedom of my savior.