Today

I am still in an emotionally raw state.

I went up to my small group leader today after church and I ended up crying on her shoulder as she prayed for me. I admitted that I feel unholy lately because of my past and I feel not good enough for Ben, but I am trying to fight off those thoughts. I admitted that sometimes I greatly dislike my parents and I feel like they don't care about me at all.

She just immediately began to talk me out of that trap and I just leaned forward and cried on her shoulder for like 15 minutes, as she prayed for me. I really love Kathy. That lady has really been used by God a lot in my life.

So, I still fell crappy and I need to remedy it soon, because God has equipped me to fight against the attacks of the enemy. However, I have been too tired to do so lately.

Which is pretty immature of me.