Wednesday, January 24

Side note on self into fervent prayer for father

I have no freaking idea what I'm doing. If I have ever put off that image, I was not intending to do so. I am kind of scared to death about what's next. Kind of? No. That's not the truth. I am making a leap of faith here, and I know it's not going to be easy. I am scared. Period. And I'm not getting much reaction from people when I tell them what's going on in my life. And I don't think it's because they don't care. I just think they don't know what to say. And I think they know they don't have to say anything. At least I hope they know. But at the same time... say something. Please don't just ignore the fact that I just spoke.


Your decisions impact me, whether you realize it or not, Tom Perkins. What you have done has hurt my little six year old self all over again. And that sucks. But it's not important. What is important is the fact that you have spent your life rejecting God over and over again. But he never rejected you! He died for you! He loves you! Can't you see that by me doing and saying what I did, God was speaking to you and holding your hand in intensive care? All those days I was near you this summer. In the hospital watching cooking shows, Jesus was right there. In me. In your midst. Did you even notice? Please think about it and notice. Notice him. I don't care about me. I don't care whether you ever notice me as long as you notice him. Then I will be okay. Just please make peace with God before you die. Okay? Please. He's so close. He's right there. Don't you see him? He's crying. He's crying 5,000 tears for every one of yours. And he's touching your face. Feel that warmth on your face that makes your belly jump? Your heart race? That's him. He came all that way to be with you. You are not alone! He does have time for you. He makes time for you. He's there to listen. So talk to him. I don't care if you can't physically talk. Talk! In Jesus name, you have a voice right now. Your stoma is healed so you can speak to him. Speak. Speak to God. Tell him, dad. Tell him you don't reject his love anymore. Please dad. Make peace? Not for anyone else. Do one good thing for you. This is you doing something good for yourself. Please listen to his call. He's calling you not to waste your last days. They can be turned for good. Do not go out in a whirlwind of hate and anger, but with peace and love in the name of Jesus. Peace that passes all understanding. It's there. Reach out and take it. It's free. Put away your money. You are not alone.

God says to you out of the chapter of Isaiah, "Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near." (55:6) and "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock Eternal." (26:4)

The lord is near to you dad. He is so near.

I will trust in the Lord forever. I trust God won't let you die dad until you have made peace with him.

May God's loving conviction and judgement fall on anyone that does not put your spirit first in their thoughts and prayers until your last breath dad.

God is not too busy for you! That's a lie from Satan and I rebuke that lie in the name of Jesus.

God has time for you. God loves you.

It's simple truth dad. And I pray your eyes be opened. Please see and comprehend what is in front of your eyes.

I want to see you again someday. Without a bottle of Jim Beam in your hand.

I want to see the light of Jesus in your eyes.

I love you dad.

I will remember the good times, okay?

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